My Tweets from the VMAs
- Me: So what does Eminem have to not be afraid of at this point? I need to be rich & get myself some rich problems.
- Me: And yes, I am watching the VMAs. WTF is Rihanna wearing? Did she shave Pipi Longstocking's head for that wig?
- Me: Ooh! Chelsea Handler! This might be funny.
- Me: Holy shoes! Any catch what is on Lady Gaga's feets? She mugged a martian.
- Me: Anyone gonna tell Ke$ha that 1) The dollar symbol is not pronounced like an "S" & 2) that if it were, her name is pronounced, "Key-sha."
- Me: How did will.i.am get that latex condom all the way from the 80s and make it into a punk bodysuit?
- Me: Okay. Justin Bieber kills on Kanye's Runaway Love, but I don't get the hype. At least he doesn't wear a lame ass promise ring.
- Me: Does Ke$ha's stylist purposely dress her like a $2 whore?
- Me: I think Usher inherited Michael Jackson's magic dancing socks. Just in case you were wondering what happened to them.
- Me: Jesus! Nicki Minaj's ass looks like an injury.
- Me: Yay. Florence + The Machine. I liked this album. And she killed that shit.
- Me: Nice. The VMAs are posting Twitter results during the show. I wish comics had that kind of of swagger.
- Me: Lady Gaga has the world's largest dress handler ever. Dood, looks like he eats people and smashes villages.
- Me: Taylor Swift is playing the baddest ass guitar ever. Oh, and the song she's playing doesn't suck.
- Me: I think I should win Video of the Year, but we all know that it is going to Lady Gaga's, Bad Romance.
- Me: Holy shit. Justin Timberlake is the tallest dood on that stage.
- Me: I think I'd be more surprised if Drake came out with a crappy song. Also, Swizz Beats looks like Humpty Hump.
- Me: Trending this year on the VMAs, being a giant ass, multicolor flashlight.
- Me: Whoa. Who changed the VMAs to Telemundo.
- Me: I really think it is brave of Selina Gomez girl for not being afraid to be a person with babyhead.
- Me: B.o.B, wearing your pants low enough to show your draws has always been lame. You got money now boy, act like it.
- Me: Who the eff, is the crazy spike haired, bleach-blonde up on the catwalk? Is that LaRoux?
- Me: Oh nice. Let's drag out Cher to make "I am old" jokes.
- Me: "Let's have a toast for the douchebags. Let's have a toast for the assholes." Wow @kanyewest, I am gonna be using those lines a lot.
Futurist with a black belt in storytelling, ePub, SMO & heuristic GUIs used to Kung Fu content strategy & intuitive user experiences. I ❤ comics, hats & bacon.
