How to Lengthen a Queue to Maddening Proportions
1. Ignore the obvious curvature in the train of patient patron crossing the doorway and cut the line at you walk in.
2. Talk on your mobile and do the above, except that when fellow patrons try to educate you maintain you phone conversation so that you can cut the line several times more because you are not really paying attention.
3. Place your giant trendy purse on the counter because you have to rummage through it to find your money, which would be easier to do if you did not have said giant trendy purse.
4. Do not speak English when ordering despite America’s notorious ignorance of other languages. Utter the word “chocolate” several times to the barista who’s only goal after getting a GED is trying to decipher what you ordered that is not on the menu.
5. Order complex shit, despite the 15 people behind you. No no! Please insure that there is soy in you raspberry chai with two tea bags, one sweet syrup and a drop of honey.
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