Post★Boy

This has nothing to do with The Dozens, but is just as classic.

So, I invited Ma Mouse over to see the New Mousepad, fully expecting her to hate my choices in paint, furniture, decoration and check the place for live-in girlfriends. While she was not quite sure that my place was an actual three bedroom, she was quite sure that I needed a Flavor Wave Oven. Secretly, this is true because I loathe turning on the oven.

She inspected each room, confirmed for me that my apartment (especially the bedroom) is a wee bit chilly, and then stole a smoke in my bathroom.

DrunkenMouse: Ma. Did you just smoke in my bathroom?
Ma Mouse: “blink blink* Hahahaha! How’d you know?
DrunkenMouse: I have a nose…
DrunkenMouse: Seriously, Ma. If you need to smoke just go in the living room or at least leave the fan on in the loo.

I almost survived my visit unscathed, until she opened my fridge.

Ma Mouse: Oh hell no.
DrunkenMouse: What?
Ma Mouse: Where is your food?
DrunkenMouse: Well Ma, I have been really busy, painting, buying furniture and I am hardly here.
Ma Mouse: So?
DrunkenMouse: So, I haven’t quite settled in enough to go grocery shopping and after all the home repair the next few days are funds-lite. I’ll get some groceries soo…
Ma Mouse: C’mon! (grabs my ear)
DrunkenMouse: Aah! What the… Where are we going?!
Ma Mouse: To the nearest supermarket. I am buying you food. This is ridiculous.

Despite protests, I spent the next hour standing behind a shopping cart while a 60-year old woman repeatedly appeared with armloads of food to throw in it. I now have enough meat in my freezer to last me and a hungry Sumo wrestler the rest of the winter.