Though I live in the City That Never Sleeps and have everything that a Mouse could want at my fingertips, there are still a few things that elude my grasp. For a long time it was Papa John’s Pizza, whose tasty pies kept me alive during my college years, but eventually they came to my city.
Nowadays, I am tormented by commercials for Sonic. Today’s gastrommercial presented graham cracker encrusted, cheesecake nuggets with strawberry dippin’ sauce. WTF?! Do they know exactly what I will eat and then just tailor the adverts to my palate? Is it like Google Ads? Most importantly…
Where the fuck is there a Sonic in NYC?
I tried their store locater and found that not only is there no Sonic withing 10 miles of my home, but there is not one within 100 miles! This is just cruel. You can’t show me thirst-quenching, blue, beverages of dubious flavor if there is no goddamned place for me to purchase and consume it. I mean where are the market research people here? Why show New Yorkers commercials for shit we can’t get?
It’s just mean… cheesecake nuggets… with the dippin’… *sniff*
I love cheesecake.
