Aside from queues, the second most vile thing known to Drunken Mousedom are people that do not know how to walk. Actually, let me specify; healthy, adults that do not know how to walk. Babies and the elderly get passes that spare them from my ire and wrath.
Anyway, I was having beers and burgers with Woodchuck, after-which I had to meet with Jennie SMASH! and attend a party. Traffic was against me on the stairs leading to the subway platform as a train had just left. Unfortunately in the States citizens do not have the common sense of “right side to descend, right side to ascend.”
This subjects all and most importantly, me, to a deluge of simpletons that cannot climb or descend a set of steps with anything resembling order or courtesy. One such genius came climbing the staircase towards me without looking up. Now I don’t know how the general populace manages walking up stairs, but common sense dictates that in a busy metropolis one ought look in the direction they are going and not their feet. Does this seem like a strange concept?
With little room to dodge this dullard, I was forced to avert his path only at the last minute when he realized that he was not the sole inhabitant of this planet and tried to get out of my way. We did that little dance that people engage in, moving in the same direction like a game of rock, paper, scissors, until I quickly shot around him causing him to stumble a bit on the stairs.
He gave me a dirty glare expecting me to actually acknowledge him as something more than a wasted and likely accidental result of copulation. Instead I made my way to the turnstile yelling, “Look where you are going next time and you won’t get your ankles broke, bitch.” Aside from just being a curmudgeonly Mouse, I wanted to usurp his obvious desire to insult me in order to preserve his wounded ego.
It’s not my fault he is a dick.