My life has not changed so much that I find grocery shopping to be entertaining not even as a break from monotany. I hate waiting in lines. It doesn’t matter when, where or what it is for. I find it the most debasing thing that a human being has to do.
The fact that I have a general disgust for queues is not the focus of this post. I don’t want to be distracted by the people in supermarkets who move at the speed of unprovoked cattle. No, not that. Those who leave their cart in front of items that you want while they aimlessly cruise the rest of the aisle. I have no urge to grab a can of corn that I can’t get to and whip it at their head. Nope, not me. Hell, why focus on that when I have teenage girls ignoring the obvious expression of impatience on my face as they have some empty-headed conversation with one of the other chickenheads cashiers instead of ringing up my motherfucking orange juice.
I need my daily Vitamin C, bitch!
What actually caught my attention are the West Indian female nannies that have been a staple in Park Slope’s yuppie and now yupster scene since I was a wee mouse. I have always been intrigued as to how these women keep their jobs considering the overt lack of enthusiasm they show in caring for their silver-spoon mouthed charges. Nothing the kids they watch do breaks their stoic and jaded demeanor. They are just there to make sure these little side effects of copulation don’t die.
As two such women blocked the deli counter, their meal tickets gabbed on in unintelligible gibberish… actually that is what these nannies sound like as well. One got her feed from the deli guy and moseyed, leaving the other far less interested in standing there so she abandoned her bread and butter to look at cookies. The deli doods and I gave each other bewildered looks as this negligent nanny took her eyes completely off the prize in order to examine food stuffs. Her grazing was only deterred by the completion of her sandwich, that she eyed suspiciously concerned that it lacked cheese.
Again the deli guys and I looked at each other both obviously thinking, “If she payed as much attention to the kid she’d be worth something.”