Post★Boy

This one is not a Lost Episode kids, it’s reality TV and of course I am drunk. Reasons to follow:

Knowing that you are getting fired is sort of like having a terminal illness. You just sort of deal with it on a day-to-day basis and try to keep on living despite knowing your demise is eminent.

It is sort of like ice skating uphill, but whatever, let’s run down the list of events so that others do not make the same mistakes.

• Witness coup de’etat in office three months after starting. Get new boss.
• Have your blog outed by disgruntled former contractor. Crackpot is treated like a real issue. Reply professionally to head supervisor inquires as to how you would feel if they were in the Klan.
• Be asked to retake photo that no one had a problem with because it is suddenly “unprofessional.”
• Make clear your inability to manage one specific area during interview, be assigned said area anyway, after being hired.
• Said area is a high priority, you have no idea what to do with it. Make it work, under pressure.
• Find out supervisor is talking about you behind your back to head supervisor, wonder why nothing has been said to you.
• Get performance review months later littered with lies and contextual grievances. Your days are numbered.
• Go to work every day knowing the above. Have your work scrutinized beyond all others. Try to be productive anyway.
• Come to realization that it is not really your work that is disliked, it is you. It’s the glib emails, pandering responses, constant feeling of being watched, never being included in decisions. Give up hope.
• Do not receive email for impromptu 5PM meeting. Yeah, real slick guys, no one could figure that out.
• Notice that your Web sites are suddenly blocked. Not that Anonymouse, huh?
• Say goodbye to favorite coworkers beforehand, they’ll know why in a minute.
• Watch coworkers get filed into meeting room, while you wait for the IM. Wait for it…

All of my coworkers came out to wish me well after the charade. I smile knowing my supervisors will never be missed by that many people.

Never.

It’s petty, I know, but I’ll never spend my Friday nights or weekends working and have no one care when I go, because I have friends and family who love me and want to see me. I have love and support from enough people to form my own militia. That’s more than enough for me.
It didn’t stop me from banging my face into the wall every time I went to the bathroom at the bar. I think my friends would prefer not to see the hurt. Self deprecation is best when physical and private.

Things to do today:

• Pick up laundry that was ready Saturday.
• End burgeoning relationship with therapist because I no longer have medical insurance. Perhaps he should find some irony in the whole “I go to work everyday expecting to be fired” statement I made last session.
• Call back recruiter about the IBM offer from a few days ago.
• Finish script for book that my potential agent requested.
• Try to keep it together.