Post★Boy

I woke up today at around 1PM… drunk… again.

Seriously, I do not have a problem.

Last night was my good friend’s bachelor party, so I was obligated to drink myself stoopid and ensure that he has a good time or that I did. Same difference.

We ate at this super posh Japanese restaurant that required I dress up, which for me just means that the old Converse stay at home. I am a drunk, but I present myself well. So well in fact that I am often mistaken for a celebrity. Think I am bullshitting?

Mouse: (Stuffing my face) *Munch munch*
Waiter: Good to see you here again, sir.
Mouse: (Nods appreciatively) Thanks. (Goes back to eating)
P Mickey G: What the fuck?!
Chode: Yeah, what the hell was that?
Mouse: Huh? Fuck, I don’t know. That happens. Weird, huh? (Stuffs more food in mouth)
Chode: Did he think you were someone famous?
Mouse: That is my guess.
Mess: I don’t know who you look like?
JohnnyStorm: Kanye West!
Mouse: Shut up asshole.
Mess: Yeah. I can see it. You’re both black.
Mouse: You’re all hysterical.

To top off the ball busting the bill came out to a whopping $1500. The stack of bills was so thick that I suggested we smack someone with it. Who’s ever been smacked by that much money? We followed it up with the standard bar crawling during which I whined to the menfolk that despite not wanting anything to do with women right now DangerMouse can’t seem to avoid getting mixed up with them. Being men, they looked at me with the same amount of disgust had I told them I had a 12 inch dick and won the lottery.