I just finished reading A Picture of Dorian Grey — yes, I know it is a very short book, I read slow and retain mucho, OK?
Anyway, as I often do, I internalized a lot of what the character was struggling with. Unblemished youth and a tarnished soul. Mind you, I am no where near as hedonistic as the lead character but I can empathize with Grey’s struggle against the world’s impression of him versus his knowledge of his own deplorable vices.
Are we all ultimately vain?
The cynic in me finds this interpretation to be the most logical. Does my own self loathing stem from dissatifaction with my less than kind subconscious? Perhaps the selfish impulses that I detect and detest in others are simply my own resistance to the things that I know are wrong with myself. This is the conclusion I came to at the end of the book, because in the end I have to deal with when I’ve been a bastard and then sort of forgive myself. If I acknowledge that sometimes my intentions have not been pure then I can ultimately see myself as the good person that others see — though like everyone, flawed.
Bottom line: I can’t be good all the time or beat myself up when I am bad.
I swear there will be more fun posts soon. Especially since I am off to the pub, where shenanigans are bound await me.
If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.
- Oscar Wilde