Destined to Be Grumpy?
I came to the conclusion that being given a weird first name like Drunken pretty much set me up for a curmudgeon’s life.
When you spend your formative years watching Romper Room without Ms. Mary ever once calling your name you start thinking something is wrong.
By the time you reach your teens you’ve been thoroughly soured by the consistent absence of your name on a license plate at the fair.
Once you’re an adult, you’ve basically pickled the cynicism and are ready to take on the world with sardonic wit and hostile levity.
Seriously, Ms Mary Ann, fuck you and your Magic Mirror.
My name is never on those license plates either.